How much pleasure do you allow in?

Pleasure seems to be the theme of this month. As I've been exploring its many faces, it's become clear just how integral pleasure is to how we feel about ourselves as women inside and out.

So what do I mean by pleasure?

Pleasure is the capacity to feel and experience joy, warmth and love; to see and be moved by beauty of all kinds, to feel passion and desire, to be lit up by creativity, to be shaken loose by inspiration, and to feel the deep nourishing connection of others.

Pleasure is all about allowing, receiving, opening and feeling with every sense of your body. 

Because pleasure is experienced in the body, not in the mind. As a culture, we've shifted our entire centre of gravity into our heads. Most of us are constantly pulled in a million scattered directions by the many thoughts we have each day, keeping us cut off from the very source that could so easily fill us back up. This hugely impacts our capacity to be open to receiving pleasure in our lives - because the head can't feel. It's the body that feels. 

When we close ourselves off to experiencing pleasure, we don’t realise the disservice we do to the feminine part of our nature that craves pleasure, craves love, craves feeling, craves sensuality, craves beauty and craves to be fed and fed well. 

So when we attune back into our senses, and take the time to sense into our world and the people around us rather than think so much, we open ourselves up again to feeling pleasure. 

And how good is that? How needed is that?

We are literally drying up - it's an epidemic - of joylessness, of busy, of restricting ourselves from any form of pleasure with all the many insignificant activities we think we have to do to keep up, and all too often pleasure gets relegated to last. So days, weeks and months can and do slip by with very little pleasure being felt. And then we wonder why we're not feeling good about ourselves in our lives. 

And for those of you who naturally give a lot to others, learning how to receive can be a real challenge.

It's time to call pleasure back in. Make it a priority in our lives again.

Because if pleasure is missing, or if it's been unfelt for too long, you will feel dried up, shut down, blocked off and disconnected from yourself, from others, from life itself. Energetically this is like a great plug in your second chakra - your pleasure centre - blocking off not only your ability to feel pleasure, but also your inspiration, your creativity, your emotions, your sensuality - so much of what brings balance to your whole being. 

Sure you can function fine without pleasure, but what a grey, dull, boring existence it becomes! So much of what could be amazing about your life gets smothered by your avoidance of the juice you need to thrive.

For I've come to understand that pleasure is a big part of what allows your energy to flow through your entire body - from the earth up to the sky, unimpeded. So if you're feeling blocked or stagnant in an area of your life, or you've become disconnected from joy, from inspiration, or you've been too serious for too long, it might well be that pleasure is missing from your life.  Certainly if you're reading these words and you're feeling a stirring in your lower belly, or there's a sense of aliveness trying to come back in, then it's highly likely you need to make pleasure a priority. 

Here are a few other ways we shut out pleasure:

  • When every second of our waking life is structured with doing, we block pleasure.
  • When our body clock is set to full speed, with no downtime, no slow, no rest or relaxation, we block pleasure.
  • When we discipline ourselves to do what our body has no interest in doing, we block pleasure.
  • When we diet and view food as an evil to be controlled, we block a huge source of pleasure.
  • When we allow the culture to define what's beautiful and judge our bodies as lacking, we block pleasure. 
  • When we ignore our needs for too long, turn away from love, from affection, from connection, from intimacy, because we don’t know how to let it in, or we’re scared of being hurt again, or we’ve gotten out of the habit, or our screens are getting more love than people, we block pleasure.
  • When we get so serious about everything in life - about the world, about our families, about our friends, about our work and forget to have fun, we block pleasure. 
  • When we say no to things that would light us up, because we’re too wedded to being comfortable, we block pleasure.
  • When we say yes to everyone all the time to please them and keep the peace, we block pleasure.
  • When we get so caught up in our minds we don't see the insane beauty in the world around us, we block pleasure.

Ultimately, if you want to own all of who you are as a woman, this pleasure piece cannot be overlooked. 

So how can you reconnect to pleasure?

As a very special gift to thank you for supporting me in my work, I've recorded a beautiful guided meditation to help you reconnect to pleasure via your senses. Being my first recorded meditation, it's not perfect (there is one beep in it at some point that I haven't yet learnt how to edit out), but please use that sound to call you deeper into your awareness.

Beautiful souls, I urge you to take the time out to listen to this meditation - and please share it with your partners and friends. Let's bring pleasure back and let's own all of who we are! For we are here to have fun as well as get our work done. I hope you love the meditation as much as I loved creating it for you.  

A couple of tips before you listen: find a quiet space where you won't be interrupted, and for maximum benefit use headphones. If you can, sit in a chair with your feet flat on the ground, hands rested in your lap, then relax and enjoy the process.

special meditation: reconnect to pleasure via your senses

Please share this post with your friends and loved ones on social media, and please leave me your comments or email your feedback on the meditation to For if this is something that resonates with you, I'd love to create more meditations for you in the future. To be sure to receive them, just subscribe to my newsletter on my website.

Here's to receiving pleasure and joy in all its many forms in your life!

Much love xo